Humour, Seriously: Why Humour Is a Superpower at Work and in Life

business
communication
leadership

1 Listen to Humour, Seriously Summary

2 Book Summary: Humour, Seriously by Jennifer Aaker & Naomi Bagdonas

2.1 The Humour Cliff & The Four Deadly Myths

As children, we laugh hundreds of times a day. As adults, that number plummets. We hit the “humour cliff” as we enter the workforce, believing we must be serious to be taken seriously. The authors debunk the four key myths that hold us back from using humour effectively:

  1. The Serious Business Myth: The belief that humour has no place amid serious work. In reality, 98% of executives prefer employees with a sense of humour, and levity improves team performance.
  2. The Failure Myth: The paralyzing fear that a joke will fall flat. Research shows that as long as a joke attempt is appropriate, it signals confidence and increases status, even if it doesn’t get a huge laugh. The real failure is inappropriate humour, not unfunny humour.
  3. The “Being Funny” Myth: The idea that you have to be a comedian to use humour. Simply signalling you have a sense of humour (by smiling or laughing at others’ jokes) is enough to be seen as more respected and pleasant to work with.
  4. The “Born With It” Myth: The belief that humour is an innate trait, not a skill. Like a muscle, humour can be strengthened with practice and a growth mindset.

The book identifies four primary humour styles based on delivery (Expressive vs. Subtle) and content (Affiliative vs. Aggressive). Understanding your style helps you wield it effectively.

  • The Stand-up (Aggressive-Expressive): Natural entertainers, not afraid to be bold, edgy, or roast someone to get a laugh.
  • The Sweetheart (Affiliative-Subtle): Earnest and understated. Uses light, pre-planned humour to uplift others. Avoids teasing.
  • The Magnet (Affiliative-Expressive): Charismatic, positive, and uplifting. Uses animated, goofy humour and laughs easily.
  • The Sniper (Aggressive-Subtle): Edgy and sarcastic. Delivers sharp, dry one-liners from the sidelines. Their humour is an “acquired taste.”

2.2 The Science: Why Humour is a Superpower

When we laugh, our brains release a cocktail of beneficial hormones (dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins) while lowering stress hormones (cortisol). This chemical shift unlocks four key “superpowers” at work:

  1. Power & Status: Using humour makes us appear more confident, competent, and intelligent. It’s a tool of influence, making our ideas more memorable and persuasive.
  2. Bonds & Connection: Shared laughter accelerates trust and vulnerability. It’s one of the fastest ways to build rapport and strengthen relationships over time.
  3. Creativity & Innovation: Humour breaks down “functional fixedness,” helping us see novel connections. It fosters psychological safety, making teams more willing to share risky, unconventional ideas.
  4. Resilience & Well-being: Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress. It helps us cope with difficult situations, bounce back from setbacks, and even improves our physical health and longevity.

2.3 The Anatomy of Funny: Truth + Misdirection

At the core of all humour are two simple principles. Instead of trying to invent something funny from thin air, start here:

  1. Truth: Humour isn’t about making things up; it’s about observing the world and identifying a shared truth. Start by asking, “What is true?” not “What is funny?”
  2. Surprise & Misdirection: Laughter comes from the unexpected. A joke sets up an expectation (the setup) and then pivots in a surprising direction (the punch line), creating an incongruity that our brain resolves with laughter.

2.4 Other key ideas

You don’t need to tell jokes to bring levity into your day-to-day work. Try these simple communication strategies from the book:

  1. Spice Up Your Sign-offs: Swap “Best” or “Regards” for something more human.
    • When asking for something: With fingers and toes crossed,
    • When you’re busy: Yours, heavily caffeinated,
  2. Use a PS: The postscript is often read first. Use it for a lighthearted comment.
    • PS. It is HOT in Tucson today.
  3. Craft a Memorable OOO: Turn a boring out-of-office message into a moment of connection.
    • I am backpacking without cell service. Yours will be my favourite email to respond to upon my return.
  4. Humanise Your Bio: Add a single line of self-deprecating or quirky humour to your professional bio to stand out and seem more approachable.
    • “…He also hosts a podcast affectionately described by his wife as ‘long, boring, and utterly devoid of substance.’”

Leaders have a disproportionate impact on culture. A culture of levity creates psychological safety, boosts innovation, and improves retention.

  1. Set the Tone from the Top: Leaders don’t have to be comedians, but by playing along, laughing at their own expense, and showcasing others’ humour, they give permission for the entire organisation to be more human.
  2. Embrace the Underground: Identify and empower the natural sources of levity in your organisation.
    • Instigators: The rabble-rousers who challenge the status quo.
    • Culture Carriers: Respected rising stars who are naturally playful.
    • Hidden Gems: Under-the-radar employees with surprising talents.
  3. Institutionalise Levity: Weave humour into the fabric of your company.
    • Rituals: Turn organic moments of fun into recurring traditions (e.g., “Frosé Fridays”).
    • Physical Space: Use playful conference room names or create a wall for funny quotes.
    • Defining Moments: Craft memorable “peaks” and “ends,” like celebrating project failures with a mock eulogy.

The biggest fear holding people back is crossing a line. The book provides a framework for navigating humour responsibly.

  1. The Truth, Pain, and Distance Framework: Before making a joke, consider these three elements. Is the truth too painful? Is there enough distance (temporal, geographic, psychological) from the pain for it to be funny? Are you close enough to the topic to joke about it?
  2. The Humour Fail Lifecycle (Recognise, Diagnose, Make it Right):
    • Recognise: Did the room go silent? Did you get nervous laughter? As a leader, remember people may laugh out of obligation, not because you’re funny. Learn to spot the difference.
    • Diagnose: What went wrong? Did you punch down (make fun of someone with less status)? Did you misread the room’s emotional state?
    • Make it Right: Apologise sincerely and immediately. Acknowledge the misstep without making excuses. As one leader put it, “get out the power washer” and fix it.

2.5 Prompts for Finding Humour

Instead of trying to “be funny,” use these prompts from the book to mine your own life for humorous truths:

  • Start with what’s true. What’s a simple observation about your life or work?
  • What do you love more than you objectively should? What do you irrationally hate?
  • Notice incongruity: What are the contrasts or contradictions in your life?
  • Think about a painful or awkward moment. Is there enough time passed to make it a funny story?
  • If ______ is true, what else is true? (Build out the world of your observation).

3 Summary Video

4 Practise

The book encourages a mindset of levity, which begins with self-awareness. Start by conducting your own Humour Audit. Take five minutes to reflect on these questions to better understand your own unique sense of humour and begin noticing it more in your daily life.

  1. When was the last time you really laughed?
  2. In general, who or what makes you laugh the most?
  3. When was the last time you made someone else laugh?
  4. Who do you feel the funniest around?

The goal isn’t to force humour, but to notice the opportunities for levity and connection that already exist around you.

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